I love being a stay at home mom, I really do! It makes me so happy but every few months I become frustrated and uninspired with all of it. I just want to throw in the towel and quit. I grow frustrated with being a one-income family and having such an important job with no financial compensation. I know that is such a silly thing to think, I also know that my payment is in the form of my children’s well being and happiness. I get that and most of the time that is all I need but right now, it’s hard. I feel like I just spend money. From groceries, kid’s activities, school tuition, gas, new kids clothes, etc. I am always the one spending the money but I contribute nothing financially. When we have a bad month, which happens more than I would care to admit, or we need something, like a new windshield or glasses, it’s very hard not to feel guilty or like I am the financial drain of the family. I know that I am not but there is a sense of guilt and shame that makes me want to stop being a stay at home mom and go back to work so I can help. It is such a helpless feeling.
When I was growing up, I was always taught that if you wanted something or needed something then you had to work for it. As a stay at home mom, I am finding it hard to stick with the solid advice of my parents. I always had a job, from the time I was 15 until I became a mom. If wanted something, I put in the hours or found a second job to make it work. Fast forward to 2017, I’m a stay at home mom and a military wife. Everything isn’t black and white anymore. I’m here torn between my desire to be with my children and go back to work to help the family. There are plenty of us out there struggling with this all over the country. I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone! The frustration is real. I’m done sugar coating it. For now, I’m going to get up every morning like usual and put on my big girl panties and do what we have to do!